In life, there are a few clear-cut choices one must make. Coke or Pepsi. Scotch or Bourbon. Ginger or Mary-Ann. Star Wars or Star Trek. You cannot sit the fence on these debates. You choose a side and you stick with it. (Incidentally; Coke, Scotch, Ginger, Star Wars). Sure, you might occasionally dally with the other side, or be forced to it when no other option is available...but you know where your heart belongs.
One of these choices is Marvel vs. DC. I'm not talking about their sub-imprints or anything like that, I mean their universes. Their core characters. Spider-Man, the X-Men, Iron Man, Captain America and Thor, vs Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, the JLA, Green Lantern.
All my life I have instinctively, inevitably chosen Marvel. I loved the X-Men, especially Beast, Colossus, and of course, Wolverine. The Fantastic Four, especially Thing. I identified with these characters. I wanted to be them. I wanted toys that represented them.
And more than that, I scoffed at the DC Universe. Superman? Pshaw. Big stupid boy scout with far too many powers, and the weaknesses? LAME. Wonder Woman? Well, Linda Carter sure was hot, but the "lasso of truth." Gimme a break. And Green Lantern's weakness was yellow? Yellow? Don't even get me started on Captain Marvel (the Shazam Captain Marvel, not the alien Captain Marvel...he was part of the Marvel universe and thus acceptable). Sure, Batman was alright, but most of my exposure to Batman was in the form of the campy 60s TV show (which in retrospect is tolerable only when Julie Newmar appears as Catwoman...hummina hummina...) and the initial Tim Burton Batman films, which I thought were great. Note the past tense "thought" and interpret it literally.
These feelings on the "Marvel vs DC" question crystallized as I grew older. I amassed a large collection of Toybiz's Marvel Legends figures, I dutifully read most of the Marvel Universe big event comic series, I tolerated the "Heroes Reborn" nonsense, and I remained comfortably certain that the X-Men and the Avengers were way cooler than the Teen Titans or the Justice League. I mean, of course Wolverine could kick Batman's ass...it wasn't even a contest. And the Punisher would just mow his ass down, right? No trouble at all.
Then, this past winter, my wife brought home from the library a hard-back collection of Justice League comics titled "Tornado's Path" by Brad Meltzer. I was mired in writing my thesis and reading books on the pedagogy of Creative Writing, so I took one evening off to give DC comics a shot.
When I finished it, I asked the Official Wife of LBAM if the same writer had written anything else in comics. She said, yes, something called Identity Crisis.
I fetched it from the library, read it in a few quick, stunned hours and said "How come nobody ever told me the DCU was this good?" Marvel characters never would've had a running debate about whether it was acceptable to alter a villian's mental capacity. They might have argued about whether killing him was ok...but just messing with his head? No schism there. No no no. Why was this so different? Because these characters acted like heroes. They held themselves to a higher standard of conduct because they had powers. They didn't (all) wander around in emo-drunkenness or tortured loneliness because they were special and the world persecuted them for their special-ness. They could argue about something like that because how they acted mattered to them.
Flash forward to now. I have read Crisis on Infinite Earths, 52, Green Arrow: Quiver, Green Arrow: Year One, Kingdom Come, Trinity, a crap load of Batman books, and am eager to read more. Just last night I watched the final episode of Justice League Unlimited, which is pretty much without doubt the finest cartoon series I have ever seen. I have a small collection of DC Direct figures: the Justice League Green Arrow and Martian Manhunter, and the Trinity series 1 Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman. I may never buy another Marvel Legends figure (more on this in the toyblog later this week, I hope).
What's the key difference? Well, the writing, for sure. The scope, too. The DC Universe appears to live and breath across an entire world (worlds, even), whereas the Marvel Universe, well...that's pretty much New York city, with occasional trips to other countries or planets. These far flung locales serve mostly as a backdrop for superheroes to experience angst and punch things. They lack depth or definition.
But mostly, it's the quality of the current writing. Marvel is blundering into crap at every turn. The big Brand New Day for Spider-Man was an absolute turd sandwich. It's not a "brand new day" when all you did was re-set the character to what he was twenty years ago. Civil War was pretty good, but two issues into Marvel's big summer events of Secret Invasion and Avengers vs Invaders it has become clear that those comics are designed mostly to undo everything that happened in Civil War. Steve Rogers will be alive again one way or another (they've got two options for that). Tony Stark appears to have been a deep-cover, unconscious Skrull Agent for decades? Ditto Spider-Woman, Elektra, and several other heroes...GAH. Just let something happen for pity's sake.
Contrast Final Crisis, where things are changing. Sure, it seems likely that Barry Allen is coming back from the dead, but he's been dead since 1986. Has Marvel ever let a major player rest that long? I guess the point I'm getting at is that Marvel doesn't seem to respect the idea of telling a story in a way that results in anything changing. Sure, DC characters come back from the dead, but take Green Arrow: Quiver, for instance. Yes, Ollie came back from the dead...but he was changed by the experience. He didn't want to live again. He did it because he had to. I guess what I'm getting at is that, in my experience with DC comics so far, stories are told that are more than just cyclical; it isn't the same experience for a character over and over again that always results in the slate being wiped clean, so the character can go back to being what he was in 1976, or 1988, or 2002. I suppose 52 would be a wonderful example of that, by finally bringing the painfully sad story of Elongated Man to a conclusion, by sending Black Adam (I never thought the Egyptian version of Captain Marvel would be even a remotely interesting character) on a totally heartbreaking cycle from villain, to anti-hero struggling with his power, to redemption and back again, by setting up a new Question...I can't wait to reread it in a few months and see what I missed, because I know I missed plenty.
I think the most recent redeeming Marvel comic was Astonishing X-Men, written by Joss Whedon. Yes, the series is going to continue without him, but I'm certain it won't be as good. That was a series with depth and complex characters, with the actual inner nature of characters being revealed (Cyclops in particular goes on a pretty interesting journey in that series...so does Beast). And now Joss's run on it is done, and so is my last reason for remaining a dedicated Marvel fanboy. Sure, I'll still probably drop in the Marvel Universe from time to time, to check in on the favorite characters of my youth. But now that I'm (mostly) grown up, I have found that I simply prefer the DC Universe. At least as of this moment, it is better written, more mature, more complex, more interesting, and full of better stories than Marvel. The people in charge at Marvel simply don't take their characters seriously enough...or value the intelligence of their fans highly enough...to tell good stories anymore.
Maybe the pendulum will swing back the other way, maybe someday I can sit the fence and enjoy both...but for now, I'd much rather live in the DC Universe.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
"I'm Keith Hernandez," or, "Identifying Moments of Hubris."
So lately I've been thinking about the moments where various people, usually involved in creative endeavors of some kind, had the moment where they decided, "Hey, I'm ______, I'm a goddamn genius, I can do whatever I want." So, inspired by the classic Keith Hernandez episode of Seinfeld, with his "I'm Keith Hernandez" voice over, here are a few I've thought of.
Alan Moore had his "I'm Alan Moore" moment when...he wrote The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier. Alan Moore has written some great comics; I don't need to list them here. And he is one crazy SOB, no doubt. In Black Dossier, there was far more of the latter than the former. Some examples:
Okay, Alan, I get that you don't like James Bond. And the Bond of the books is a misogynist, a bastard, an assassin...he is not a whiny, traitorous, idiot rapist.
The Golloywogg? Really? You had to drag out that racist thing, and give him some weird living doll sex/slaves...I really can't even keep talking about this part.
Not to mention the fact that by this volume, Moore was determined to just wedge in every character who ever appeared in any English literature between, say, 1789 and 1960. We get it, dude. You're smart. No go back to worshiping your snake god and pretending that anarchy and open marriages and all that other nonsense you believe in (so you can justify doing whatever you want, whenever you want) actually works.
The Wachowski Brothers had their "We're the Wachowski Brothers" Moment when...they stopped plagiarizing Grant Morrison and tried writing their own material for the Matrix, which is to say, when they made the second two parts of their trilogy. I don't think there's anything else that needs to be said about that.
George Lucas...has quite possibly had more "I'm George Lucas!" moments than anyone in history. The Radioland Murders. Howard the Duck. Need I mention Droids, the Ewok TV specials, or The Phantom Menace? Unlike many other geeks, I do not list Episodes II or III here, which is a whole separate issue. And I'm not even going to get into Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which I thoroughly enjoyed, for which I fully expect to have my geek card revoked any day now, apparently because geek credentials now require hating anything Lucas does. I am convinced, by the way, that this is why so many nerds disliked Indy 4; they were determined not to like it because Lucas was involved, and in many cases are complaining about things that are hallmarks of the Indy franchise (improbable escapes, unscientific 'science', slapstick humor, etc). Again, a whole other argument.
Robert Jordan had his "I'm Robert Jordan!" moment when...he wrote books 7, 8, 9, 10, and most of 11. Enough said.
I had a bunch more of these when I planned this post initially, but I have since forgotten. Please share more in the comments.
Alan Moore had his "I'm Alan Moore" moment when...he wrote The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier. Alan Moore has written some great comics; I don't need to list them here. And he is one crazy SOB, no doubt. In Black Dossier, there was far more of the latter than the former. Some examples:
Okay, Alan, I get that you don't like James Bond. And the Bond of the books is a misogynist, a bastard, an assassin...he is not a whiny, traitorous, idiot rapist.
The Golloywogg? Really? You had to drag out that racist thing, and give him some weird living doll sex/slaves...I really can't even keep talking about this part.
Not to mention the fact that by this volume, Moore was determined to just wedge in every character who ever appeared in any English literature between, say, 1789 and 1960. We get it, dude. You're smart. No go back to worshiping your snake god and pretending that anarchy and open marriages and all that other nonsense you believe in (so you can justify doing whatever you want, whenever you want) actually works.
The Wachowski Brothers had their "We're the Wachowski Brothers" Moment when...they stopped plagiarizing Grant Morrison and tried writing their own material for the Matrix, which is to say, when they made the second two parts of their trilogy. I don't think there's anything else that needs to be said about that.
George Lucas...has quite possibly had more "I'm George Lucas!" moments than anyone in history. The Radioland Murders. Howard the Duck. Need I mention Droids, the Ewok TV specials, or The Phantom Menace? Unlike many other geeks, I do not list Episodes II or III here, which is a whole separate issue. And I'm not even going to get into Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which I thoroughly enjoyed, for which I fully expect to have my geek card revoked any day now, apparently because geek credentials now require hating anything Lucas does. I am convinced, by the way, that this is why so many nerds disliked Indy 4; they were determined not to like it because Lucas was involved, and in many cases are complaining about things that are hallmarks of the Indy franchise (improbable escapes, unscientific 'science', slapstick humor, etc). Again, a whole other argument.
Robert Jordan had his "I'm Robert Jordan!" moment when...he wrote books 7, 8, 9, 10, and most of 11. Enough said.
I had a bunch more of these when I planned this post initially, but I have since forgotten. Please share more in the comments.
Monday, March 24, 2008
The People You Meet in Grad School, Vol 3
Continuing our earlier series on the People You Meet in Grad School with a just a couple specialized types:
14. The Person Who Is Always Eating - There are actually 3 distinct subtypes to this particular person. The first, or "classic" model, is just your garden variety fat dude/chick. Grad school has its share, probably representative of the rest of the world, so no big deal. But there are two other types. The one most native to grad school is the kind who is always eating in public because she wants you to see how busy she is. The thinking goes something like this: I am doing so much; writing my novel, teaching a whole entire class, and pickling my liver/keeping my local grower in business, "journaling," navel-gazing, writing my "essays" and also complaining all the time that no one will publish them, that I have no time to set aside to eat at home or in a place designated for it, and by God, people need to know this. I will make it clear by unpacking 4 or 5 tupperware tubs (to show I am environmentally conscious, I won't use bags!) during a really inappropriate time (like, say, during a reading, a lecture, workshop, or performance) to make sure everyone sees how BUSY I am, and watches how healthy/organic/exotic/unappealing my choice of food is.
The second type is the kind who is on such a specially computed diet that it requires constant snacking to regulate "blood sugar levels." Needless to say this also requires constant cadging of food, constant discussion of how "if I don't eat something now I'm going to faint"/relative benefits of protein, fiber, etc.
15. The Person Who Makes Every Conversation About Him/Herself
True, you can probably meet this person outside of grad school, but they are very prevalent within. A common tactic is to use someone's workshop piece as a way to discuss the self, instead of the work. "Well, this line makes me go back to...(insert painter/religious text/poet/obscure reference/musician) here" is the M.O. of this tool, who will then use the opportunity to, without doubt, talk at length about what he/she has experienced, rather than anything to do with the work being discussed. Another popular method is wait until someone asks for advice or brings up a problem with a student; the way is then clear to launch into a 10-15 minute personal narrative about how that happened to him/her when he/she was a student.
There are also the much less tactful "opens her email, proceeds to discuss contents of it with everyone in room" type, but those are garden variety.
More to come, hopefully.
14. The Person Who Is Always Eating - There are actually 3 distinct subtypes to this particular person. The first, or "classic" model, is just your garden variety fat dude/chick. Grad school has its share, probably representative of the rest of the world, so no big deal. But there are two other types. The one most native to grad school is the kind who is always eating in public because she wants you to see how busy she is. The thinking goes something like this: I am doing so much; writing my novel, teaching a whole entire class, and pickling my liver/keeping my local grower in business, "journaling," navel-gazing, writing my "essays" and also complaining all the time that no one will publish them, that I have no time to set aside to eat at home or in a place designated for it, and by God, people need to know this. I will make it clear by unpacking 4 or 5 tupperware tubs (to show I am environmentally conscious, I won't use bags!) during a really inappropriate time (like, say, during a reading, a lecture, workshop, or performance) to make sure everyone sees how BUSY I am, and watches how healthy/organic/exotic/unappealing my choice of food is.
The second type is the kind who is on such a specially computed diet that it requires constant snacking to regulate "blood sugar levels." Needless to say this also requires constant cadging of food, constant discussion of how "if I don't eat something now I'm going to faint"/relative benefits of protein, fiber, etc.
15. The Person Who Makes Every Conversation About Him/Herself
True, you can probably meet this person outside of grad school, but they are very prevalent within. A common tactic is to use someone's workshop piece as a way to discuss the self, instead of the work. "Well, this line makes me go back to...(insert painter/religious text/poet/obscure reference/musician) here" is the M.O. of this tool, who will then use the opportunity to, without doubt, talk at length about what he/she has experienced, rather than anything to do with the work being discussed. Another popular method is wait until someone asks for advice or brings up a problem with a student; the way is then clear to launch into a 10-15 minute personal narrative about how that happened to him/her when he/she was a student.
There are also the much less tactful "opens her email, proceeds to discuss contents of it with everyone in room" type, but those are garden variety.
More to come, hopefully.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Great Videogame Throwdown: RPGs
Well, here we are, at the end of the Great Game Throwdown, with the greatest of all game types: RPGs. The LBAM actually visited this subject in a prior blogpost, and the rankings will be the same. If this gives me an advantage over my distinguished competition at SoulKerfuffle and Philosophy of Time Travel, well...it's really just part and parcel of the advantage I already had by simply being the LBAM.
First and foremost, a note about what you will not find on this list: any Final Fantasy games. Why, do you ask? I don't like Final Fantasy games. I don't like spiky hair and Japanese animation and stupid-looking weapons and hodge-podges of mythology and stupid big freakin' birds and heroes with lame, fruity names like "Cloud." So screw Final Fantasy. If you play and enjoy them, you are probably a communist and/or a sexual deviant.
5. Fallout- Post-apocalyptic wandering in a nuclear-shattered wasteland was never more fun! Seriously, Fallout was a great game, based on a great premise. It managed to mix in enough funny to keep you laughing, enough variation to keep you coming back to play again, and big honkin' weapons, including a flamethrower that turned your enemies into flaming, dancing skeletons that then settled into small piles of ash. What's not to like? I've been trying to track a copy or a download of this down recently, but haven't had any luck. I know I never explored or discovered all there was to do in that game.
4. Ultima 7- The pinnacle of a classic series of games, especially if you played the second half. This game, like all the Ultima games, had a great storyline that would carry you through a quest, but was chock full of diversions, side quests, riddles, jokes, etc. The replay value came in trying to figure out all the side quests you couldn't before, all the items you knew were there but couldn't find, the dungeons you couldn't quite figure out. Nobody did "big and engrossing" in the early 90s like the Ultima folks.
3. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic- The story of this game was so good that I wish IT had been the subject of the prequels. It felt so intrinsically Star Wars. This game had great replay value, and by playing Dark Side you actually got to utter the phrase "Join me and we'll rule the galaxy together," AND have a lightsaber duel with your pansy light side Jedi cronies. Chills. This game is probably the second or third best Star Wars film ever made, only many hours longer and interactive. Extra points for being the best Star Wars game ever released, for the intriguing plot, and side quests that were always interesting and never felt unconnected. Playing this, one got the sense that the people who made it loved Star Wars, I mean really, really loved it. Sometimes that kind of devotion to material and authenticity makes a great game even greater; they clearly weren't as concerned with mind-blowing graphics or realistic physics or super intelligent combat AI as they were with making a damn fun game and a good story.
2. The Elder Scrolls- Morrowind- This game is the best ever at not railroading the player into anything. The entire world is wide open, beautifully rendered, full of side-quests, guilds, grudges, dungeons, monsters, treasures, vampires, werewolves, insane gods (play your cards right and you'll get to whack 2 of them) loads of magic items, corrupt nobles, slaves to free...and, yeah, a major quest that's awesome. I can't even begin to tell you how many hours of my life I've wasted playing Morrowind. Just a fantastic game. All I remember about the summer Morrowind was released was seeing how far I could take my Nord Barbarian (level 35, which was nowhere near the highest level character I ever trotted out there).
1. Baldur's Gate II, Shadows of Amn- They can spend another 9 years trying to make a game as great as this one, and they still won't. The entire Baldur's Gate series was great, and the second half really took off and did amazing things. This game still has immense replay value thanks to the great modders out there who keep bringing out new content for it, new NPCs, new areas, total conversions of the engine...it's great fun to mix and match the different mods to see how they work together. The plot was tight, the voice acting (David Warner as Irenicus was genius) was great, the game immersed you in the Forgotten Realms and never let you out. Just recently I started playing it again because of a few new mods and it is as engrossing as ever. Sure, I may have the early parts more or less memorized, but I still love playing it and seeing all the interactions different NPCs have and have every story play out.
Honorable Mentions: Bard's Tale, Knights of Legend, Darklands, Ultima VI, Baldur's Gate I, Betrayal at Krondor, Wizardry 6: Bane of the Cosmic Forge, Wizardry 7: Crusaders of the Dark Savant, the Gold Box games, but especially Gateway to the Savage Frontier and Treasures of the Savage Frontier.
Worst RPG: Knights of the Old Republic II - This game is definitely the most crushingly disappointing sequel ever released. The real problem is that so much of the game was great; the extended modification of items, the fact that you essentially founded a New Jedi Order by training all your followers as Jedi, the threads and mysteries and hints of where the story and characters of the previous game went to. Unfortunately, the people making this game were like the DM who spends so much time planting items and creating neat NPCs and plotting specific battles and side-quests that he doesn't realize that his plot arc is incomprehensible nonsense that has no ending. I mean no damn ending. An "end" implies a resolution, the tying up of plot threads and conclusion of a narrative. This f'ing game just stopped.
Gentlemen, it has been fun stomping your intellects to mush.
First and foremost, a note about what you will not find on this list: any Final Fantasy games. Why, do you ask? I don't like Final Fantasy games. I don't like spiky hair and Japanese animation and stupid-looking weapons and hodge-podges of mythology and stupid big freakin' birds and heroes with lame, fruity names like "Cloud." So screw Final Fantasy. If you play and enjoy them, you are probably a communist and/or a sexual deviant.
5. Fallout- Post-apocalyptic wandering in a nuclear-shattered wasteland was never more fun! Seriously, Fallout was a great game, based on a great premise. It managed to mix in enough funny to keep you laughing, enough variation to keep you coming back to play again, and big honkin' weapons, including a flamethrower that turned your enemies into flaming, dancing skeletons that then settled into small piles of ash. What's not to like? I've been trying to track a copy or a download of this down recently, but haven't had any luck. I know I never explored or discovered all there was to do in that game.
4. Ultima 7- The pinnacle of a classic series of games, especially if you played the second half. This game, like all the Ultima games, had a great storyline that would carry you through a quest, but was chock full of diversions, side quests, riddles, jokes, etc. The replay value came in trying to figure out all the side quests you couldn't before, all the items you knew were there but couldn't find, the dungeons you couldn't quite figure out. Nobody did "big and engrossing" in the early 90s like the Ultima folks.
3. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic- The story of this game was so good that I wish IT had been the subject of the prequels. It felt so intrinsically Star Wars. This game had great replay value, and by playing Dark Side you actually got to utter the phrase "Join me and we'll rule the galaxy together," AND have a lightsaber duel with your pansy light side Jedi cronies. Chills. This game is probably the second or third best Star Wars film ever made, only many hours longer and interactive. Extra points for being the best Star Wars game ever released, for the intriguing plot, and side quests that were always interesting and never felt unconnected. Playing this, one got the sense that the people who made it loved Star Wars, I mean really, really loved it. Sometimes that kind of devotion to material and authenticity makes a great game even greater; they clearly weren't as concerned with mind-blowing graphics or realistic physics or super intelligent combat AI as they were with making a damn fun game and a good story.
2. The Elder Scrolls- Morrowind- This game is the best ever at not railroading the player into anything. The entire world is wide open, beautifully rendered, full of side-quests, guilds, grudges, dungeons, monsters, treasures, vampires, werewolves, insane gods (play your cards right and you'll get to whack 2 of them) loads of magic items, corrupt nobles, slaves to free...and, yeah, a major quest that's awesome. I can't even begin to tell you how many hours of my life I've wasted playing Morrowind. Just a fantastic game. All I remember about the summer Morrowind was released was seeing how far I could take my Nord Barbarian (level 35, which was nowhere near the highest level character I ever trotted out there).
1. Baldur's Gate II, Shadows of Amn- They can spend another 9 years trying to make a game as great as this one, and they still won't. The entire Baldur's Gate series was great, and the second half really took off and did amazing things. This game still has immense replay value thanks to the great modders out there who keep bringing out new content for it, new NPCs, new areas, total conversions of the engine...it's great fun to mix and match the different mods to see how they work together. The plot was tight, the voice acting (David Warner as Irenicus was genius) was great, the game immersed you in the Forgotten Realms and never let you out. Just recently I started playing it again because of a few new mods and it is as engrossing as ever. Sure, I may have the early parts more or less memorized, but I still love playing it and seeing all the interactions different NPCs have and have every story play out.
Honorable Mentions: Bard's Tale, Knights of Legend, Darklands, Ultima VI, Baldur's Gate I, Betrayal at Krondor, Wizardry 6: Bane of the Cosmic Forge, Wizardry 7: Crusaders of the Dark Savant, the Gold Box games, but especially Gateway to the Savage Frontier and Treasures of the Savage Frontier.
Worst RPG: Knights of the Old Republic II - This game is definitely the most crushingly disappointing sequel ever released. The real problem is that so much of the game was great; the extended modification of items, the fact that you essentially founded a New Jedi Order by training all your followers as Jedi, the threads and mysteries and hints of where the story and characters of the previous game went to. Unfortunately, the people making this game were like the DM who spends so much time planting items and creating neat NPCs and plotting specific battles and side-quests that he doesn't realize that his plot arc is incomprehensible nonsense that has no ending. I mean no damn ending. An "end" implies a resolution, the tying up of plot threads and conclusion of a narrative. This f'ing game just stopped.
Gentlemen, it has been fun stomping your intellects to mush.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
RIP Gary Gygax
Lots of other people have said, or are going to say this, in a better way, but:
Thank you, Gary Gygax. Thank you. Many of the most memorable times in my life involve slinging dice, slaying monsters, and engaging in dramatic derring-do and heroic exploits that I'd never, ever have had a chance to do otherwise. Some of my best friends, I wouldn't even know without the bond of D&D. And without computer RPGs that worked off of his paradigm, who knows if I'd be on the career path I am? They made me start writing stories...
Anyway, thank you, Gary Gygax, and RIP. If I could make my players all do without Saving Throws at the next session without a general mutiny, I would. I hope you realize how many lives your creation touched.
Thank you, Gary Gygax. Thank you. Many of the most memorable times in my life involve slinging dice, slaying monsters, and engaging in dramatic derring-do and heroic exploits that I'd never, ever have had a chance to do otherwise. Some of my best friends, I wouldn't even know without the bond of D&D. And without computer RPGs that worked off of his paradigm, who knows if I'd be on the career path I am? They made me start writing stories...
Anyway, thank you, Gary Gygax, and RIP. If I could make my players all do without Saving Throws at the next session without a general mutiny, I would. I hope you realize how many lives your creation touched.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Great Videogame Throwdown: First Person Shooters
There Can Be Only One
Folks, this is it when it comes to FPS for the LBAM. Halo is the balls, the tits, the bag of chips, several full kegs of whoopass, and your personal savior all rolled into one. You can keep your Doom, your Half-Life, your Duke Nukem. I'll be over here with the Master Chief turning Covenant into a fine purple mist.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
The Great Game Throwdown: Sports
This time, my esteemed competition has really, truly fallen flat on their faces. Philosophy of Time Travel neglected to include any actual "sports" games on his list. And Soul Kerfuffle's list is so very, very wrong that I am forced to conclude that he cannot successfully pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel, much less actually play a sports-related video game with anything more than a simian-level of success. So it is definitely time for the LBAM to set the record straight.
5 AND 4. NCAA Football 2004/Madden 2004 - Both of my esteemed colleagues ragged on the Madden franchise (not without reason) and by extension the NCAA Football franchise, since it is in many ways similar to Madden. Well, I think the 2004 versions of these games on the Xbox were probably the pinnacle of these particular franchises, and I link them together because the amount of fun had playing the game was increased exponentially when you could, in the NFL, draft players that you had also recruited out of high school. Nothing beat seeing NFL rosters full of actual players from colleges. The drawback, of course, was that by 2012, you had rosters full of "WR#4" and "DE#98" and "QB#2." Supposedly there was some guy who had a little internet business going where he would, for a nominal fee (I believe it was $5) mailed to him along with the memory card of your choice, return to you a completely renamed roster of all the teams in the game with real player names. Clearly, a saintly man, though I suspect an urban legend.
At any rate, Madden was still good in 2004, and featured lots of little innovations that I enjoyed; training camp drills that could help a player progress, the "owner" mode where you took over all the aspects of running a team (down to the price of beer, hot dogs, and parking) and could even relocate. I promptly made the New Orlean Saints into the Las Vegas Coyotes, complete with awesome logo and a howling sound effect when I made big plays that eventually got really, really annoying. I definitely think Madden and NCAA went downhill after this year, but they were still great then.
3. MVP Baseball 2004 - The ability to play minor-league baseball games in ridiculous uniforms in tiny stadiums with signage all over the walls. In other words, pure win.
2. Grand Theft Auto III - What, flipping wicked tricks in a stolen porsche isn't a sport? Beating hookers to death can't be a sport? Setting bums on fire with a flamethrower isn't a sport? Shooting down police helicopters, not competitive? Alright, fine. I don't have a #2 game. No soccer, basketball, boxing, or hockey game I've ever played is good enough to be on this list. Tough.
1. Earl Weaver Baseball II - Quite simply the greatest baseball game ever. EWB and EWB II paved the way for real baseball physics, full-season simulation, realistic managerial AI, 3D views, real player names, real stadium dimensions. Certainly, it was not without its glitches (like outfielders getting stuck against the wall on a hot shot to the corner - not to mention injuring themselves without fail in certain parks) but it was baseball that looked, played, and acted much more like the real thing than anything that came before it. In some cases, it looks, plays, and acts better than some games that have come long after it. Of course, one of the major bonus parts of this particular game was that it came with a book on baseball strategy by The Earl himself, and that the AI of the computer manager was essentially Earl.
Worst Ever:
I'm tempted to just say "any soccer game ever," in order to piss off SK, but that'd just be too easy.
I'm gonna go with the late 90s to early 2000s versions of All-Star Baseball, not just for the appearance of Derek Jeter on the cover, but for the fact that there was simply no f'ing way to make the computer stop messing with your lineups. Couldn't be done. Simulate more than a game or two, and you'd go check on your team and find out that suddenly your catcher had been sent to AAA, your #3 starter was now in the bullpen, and your best leadoff hitter was batting 7th. It was chaos.
Honorable Mention: Front Page Sports Football/Baseball by Sierra. Sierra, of course, rarely made bad games, and while these series eventually fell to the EA juggernaut, in the mid-90s the franchise/career options and level of statistical sophistication in these games was way, way beyond what EA offered. The Baseball series in particular featured a program called "Data In" where you could enter the stat line of any player, and he would then be in the game's database as a free agent. I loaded in the Baseball Encyclopedia's list of the top 100 players, plus a few more for good measure, and drafted teams. Good times.
5 AND 4. NCAA Football 2004/Madden 2004 - Both of my esteemed colleagues ragged on the Madden franchise (not without reason) and by extension the NCAA Football franchise, since it is in many ways similar to Madden. Well, I think the 2004 versions of these games on the Xbox were probably the pinnacle of these particular franchises, and I link them together because the amount of fun had playing the game was increased exponentially when you could, in the NFL, draft players that you had also recruited out of high school. Nothing beat seeing NFL rosters full of actual players from colleges. The drawback, of course, was that by 2012, you had rosters full of "WR#4" and "DE#98" and "QB#2." Supposedly there was some guy who had a little internet business going where he would, for a nominal fee (I believe it was $5) mailed to him along with the memory card of your choice, return to you a completely renamed roster of all the teams in the game with real player names. Clearly, a saintly man, though I suspect an urban legend.
At any rate, Madden was still good in 2004, and featured lots of little innovations that I enjoyed; training camp drills that could help a player progress, the "owner" mode where you took over all the aspects of running a team (down to the price of beer, hot dogs, and parking) and could even relocate. I promptly made the New Orlean Saints into the Las Vegas Coyotes, complete with awesome logo and a howling sound effect when I made big plays that eventually got really, really annoying. I definitely think Madden and NCAA went downhill after this year, but they were still great then.
3. MVP Baseball 2004 - The ability to play minor-league baseball games in ridiculous uniforms in tiny stadiums with signage all over the walls. In other words, pure win.
2. Grand Theft Auto III - What, flipping wicked tricks in a stolen porsche isn't a sport? Beating hookers to death can't be a sport? Setting bums on fire with a flamethrower isn't a sport? Shooting down police helicopters, not competitive? Alright, fine. I don't have a #2 game. No soccer, basketball, boxing, or hockey game I've ever played is good enough to be on this list. Tough.
1. Earl Weaver Baseball II - Quite simply the greatest baseball game ever. EWB and EWB II paved the way for real baseball physics, full-season simulation, realistic managerial AI, 3D views, real player names, real stadium dimensions. Certainly, it was not without its glitches (like outfielders getting stuck against the wall on a hot shot to the corner - not to mention injuring themselves without fail in certain parks) but it was baseball that looked, played, and acted much more like the real thing than anything that came before it. In some cases, it looks, plays, and acts better than some games that have come long after it. Of course, one of the major bonus parts of this particular game was that it came with a book on baseball strategy by The Earl himself, and that the AI of the computer manager was essentially Earl.
Worst Ever:
I'm tempted to just say "any soccer game ever," in order to piss off SK, but that'd just be too easy.
I'm gonna go with the late 90s to early 2000s versions of All-Star Baseball, not just for the appearance of Derek Jeter on the cover, but for the fact that there was simply no f'ing way to make the computer stop messing with your lineups. Couldn't be done. Simulate more than a game or two, and you'd go check on your team and find out that suddenly your catcher had been sent to AAA, your #3 starter was now in the bullpen, and your best leadoff hitter was batting 7th. It was chaos.
Honorable Mention: Front Page Sports Football/Baseball by Sierra. Sierra, of course, rarely made bad games, and while these series eventually fell to the EA juggernaut, in the mid-90s the franchise/career options and level of statistical sophistication in these games was way, way beyond what EA offered. The Baseball series in particular featured a program called "Data In" where you could enter the stat line of any player, and he would then be in the game's database as a free agent. I loaded in the Baseball Encyclopedia's list of the top 100 players, plus a few more for good measure, and drafted teams. Good times.
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